Let’s look at adult development. Psychologist Daniel Levinson developed a very comprehensive theory of adult development, referred to as the Seasons of Life theory, which identifies stages and growth that occur well into the adult years.
The theory refers to age 33-44-years-old as a ‘settling down’ stage. Here one often begins to establish a routine, makes progress on goals for the future, and begins behaving like an adult. People in this stage are often parents or have more responsibilities.
Bonang Matheba is 33-years-old today and she is not yet a parent, which now means we cannot necessarily expect everyone to subscribe to how we grew up knowing what is considered the “norm” by society.
As Queen B turns 33, she has well managed to establish her career well enough, she has managed to take care of herself responsibly so, and she’s been behaving like an adult before this age, as the theory suggests. We also need to acknowledge that some of us are still battling to cater to our needs like she’s doing for herself.
Should we perhaps look at settling in terms of marriage? Does Queen B want this “marriage” to be something we consider ‘settling down’ for her? That, only she can answer but it can be an expectation from society.
Do we start asking Queen B when are you having children? Have we considered what are her thoughts about marriage and having children? I personally think that Queen B is rightfully married to herself and her career at this moment. She’s a focused businesswoman and it would be sad to see that being disturbed by folks similar to Euphonik (sadly this is a more clear example of what she does not need) who will come and fuel her space with negativity and domestic violence issues that she really does not need as a successful woman she has become today.
In Levinson’s Theory of Mid-Life Transition, which is age 40-45 and this time period is sometimes one of a crisis. A person begins to evaluate his or her life. Values may change, and how society views these people may change also. Some people make drastic life changes, such as divorce or a career change. At this point, people begin thinking about death and begin to think about leaving a legacy.
In light of the above statement, Queen B evaluated her life at an early age, and she went very bold about what she wants in life. She did not necessarily care what or how society viewed her (according to the norm).
When she said: “they have to talk about you. Because when they talk about themselves, nobody listens.” 9th of June 2016, she already knew that she had to make drastic changes, which was simple, to put herself first and many of us struggle with what Queen B has done so well for herself.
Queen B has cemented herself in television, radio, and she’s a well-established businesswoman. She has thought very carefully about the type of legacy she wants to leave behind – she’s taking girls to school – can you take that legacy away?
In conclusion, what I would like to say is let’s stop judging what people do at a certain age. Let’s appreciate the time and timing of things. While at it, let’s learn from Queen B and work hard for what we want.
On that note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Queen B and may what you strongly believe-in take you as far as it may take.